Its Movember!! Hipsters all over the world are thrilled to finally have a entire month dedicated to men looking like them on purpose! I for one am a supporter of the year round mustache…IF you can pull it off. If not, please don’t bother. You will only be forcing people to stare, point, make faces and probably even flip you off.
The Mustache is a coveted facial feature and it must be treated with respect.
Peach fuzz and splotchy patches of whiskers do not count as a mustache. Please stop pretending it is. You are making small children cry when they look at you. This is a crime and you will be punished.
Now, just because you can’t grow a mustache does not mean you can’t participate and support this cause. There are several ways to rock a Faux-Stache this Movember. Its as easy as swiping a black eyeliner (or lip liner if you have a chola in your life) pencil from your lady friend and drawing it on each morning…a la Borat. Or you can glue hair extensions to your face for an homage to Salvador Dali. The best option is probably just use the template below.
This will ensure that you properly support the cause without disgracing the magnificent mustache. Prostitutes will appreciate it as well.
Join the movement. Participate in Movember.
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